So I got a massage last night by my friend Kari. It was my first ‘non painful’ massage and I enjoyed it. It took me a while to relax but I got comfortable after a while. I did think it was weird that Florida Law requires massage patients to be wrapped up in a sheet. It was weird. …oh well. Afterwards we went for some ice cream then watched Bruce Almighty.

That night, last night, I had a hard time falling asleep. Ever since Cale left he has called me everyday, sometimes twice. But the last time he called was 5pm on the 28th of June. So I called and left a message on his phone. About thirty minutes later I became really upset. I called him again, in tears, and left another message. Right now it’s a little after midnight on the 1st of July and I haven’t heard form him since. I’m a little worried. I hope he is alright.

Actually… I’m really worried.

I woke up this morning feeling a little better but still like shit. I felt like he left the country and I’m here to go on on my own as punishment for my mistakes. I know that sounds like left field but that’s how I feel. I’m doing stuff to keep myself busy but it still isn’t working. I still go to bed without talking to him. Dammit for being emotional nowadays.

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